Christmas supposedly represents the season of goodwill and pleasure to all males, however it may be a dismal expertise for some. It could be that you simply’re lacking pals and family members you’ve both misplaced or will in any other case be unable to see over the vacation – but it surely doesn’t should be something so dramatic as that. Maybe you’ve simply heard the schmaltziest of Christmas songs one time too many, and it’s turned you off Christmas eternally? In that case, then worry not. If it’s starting to really feel far an excessive amount of like Christmas, we now have a treatment. The 20 finest anti-Christmas songs can’t fail to ship Santa and his elves packing.
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Greatest Anti-Christmas Songs: 20 Tracks For Scrooges And Grinches
20: The Fall: ‘No Xmas For John Quays’
If you happen to’re dreaming of a curmudgeonly Christmas, then few musicians match the invoice higher than The Fall’s late frontman, Mark E Smith. Beginning as he meant to go on, his band’s 1979 debut album, Dwell At The Witch Trials, included ‘No Xmas For John Quays’: a spirit-dampening post-punk romp, with MES railing cryptically about each Christmas (“The ‘X’ in ‘Xmas’ is a substitute crucifix for Christ”) and junkies, whereas his band mercilessly caned the identical riff for nigh-on 5 minutes.
19: The Damned: ‘There Ain’t No Sanity Clause’
With their 1980 single ‘There Ain’t No Sanity Clause’, The Damned had one eye mounted firmly on the profitable festive market. But, although the anthemic music is a proper outdated knees-up, its highest chart peak continues to be a lowly No.97, regardless of a number of reissues. The music’s Grinch-like title hasn’t helped its trigger, although it really derives from the Marx Brothers’ film A Night time At The Opera, by which Groucho makes an attempt to clarify a enterprise contract’s “sanity clause” to Chico. The latter responds with: “You possibly can’t idiot me – there ain’t no Santy clause!”
18: Gruff Rhys: ‘Slashed Wrists This Christmas’
Songs about suicide makes an attempt don’t usually characteristic on Christmas playlists, however this ultra-melancholic, but beautifully-crafted ballad from Tremendous Furry Animals’ frontman stood out on 2011’s BBC-released An Different Christmas, alongside different notable festive naysayers reminiscent of The Futureheads’ ‘Christmas Was Higher In The 80s’, Denim’s ‘I Will Cry At Christmas’ and Sufjan Stevens’ ‘That Was The Worst Christmas Ever’.
17: All Time Low: ‘Merry Christmas, Kiss My Ass!’
As US emo-rockers All Time Low clearly perceive, breaking apart along with your important different may be very more likely to burst your bubble at Christmas. The Maryland quartet launched this plaintive anthem as a standalone single after their 2011 album, Soiled Work, peaked contained in the Prime 10 of the Billboard 200. Its heartfelt lyric (“After I gave you my coronary heart, you ripped it aside like wrapping-paper trash”) and livid refrain have a common enchantment. Sadly, the music’s sentiments will most likely by no means exit of vogue.
16: Brenda Lee: ‘Christmas Will Be Simply One other Day’
The enduring Georgia-born star Brenda Lee is synonymous with the vacation season because of her evergreen traditional, ‘Rockin’ Around The Christmas Tree’. Her signature hit was, nonetheless, simply one among many festive treats to be discovered on Merry Christmas From Brenda Lee: a US Prime 10 hit launched via Decca Records in 1964. The album revisited alternative Christmas fare reminiscent of ‘Jingle Bell Rock’ and ‘Winter Wonderland’, but additionally included ‘Christmas Will Be Simply One other Day’: a wistful ode to misplaced love and loneliness which Lee delivered with dignity to spare.
15: Albert King: ‘Santa Claus Needs Some Lovin’’
Accountability should weigh closely on Santa Claus, who covers extra miles in a single night time than most individuals do in a yr’s price of commuting. But, till Albert King recorded the supremely funky ‘Santa Claus Needs Some Lovin’’ (one of many many highlights of Stax’s 2007 compilation Christmas In Soulsville) hardly anybody spared a thought for a way the massive man’s hectic supply schedule should wreak havoc on his love life. Right here, nonetheless, the blues legend displays Santa’s frustration with Christmas when he sings, “I don’t need no turkey, don’t care about no cake/I simply need you to come back right here Mama, ’fore the youngsters wake.”
14: Hollywood Undead: ‘Christmas In Hollywood’
Controversial, LA-based rap-rock fusionists Hollywood Undead all put on masks and use pseudonyms, however the mystique did nothing to stop their 2008 debut album, Swan Songs, from going double-platinum within the US. The band are famend for his or her hedonistic stance, so it’s no shock that after they tackled the festive season with ‘Christmas In Hollywood’ (“Santa’s again up within the hood/So meet me beneath the mistletoe, let’s f__k!”) they urged us to over-indulge and overlook the implications.
13: Danny Elfman: ‘Kidnap The Sandy Claws’
Tim Burton’s stop-motion animated Halloween-Christmas movie, The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993), was initially deemed “too scary for youths” by Disney, but it surely turned a field workplace smash and was nominated for the Academy Award for Greatest Visible Results – a primary for an animated movie. One other of its strengths was composer Danny Elfman’s evocative soundtrack, which included sensible, off-beat tracks reminiscent of ‘Kidnap The Sandy Claws’ – as catchy an ode to kidnapping, torturing and murdering Santa Claus as you might probably think about.
12: Massive Star: ‘Jesus Christ’
The jury’s nonetheless out on what Big Star chief Alex Chilton’s motives have been when he recorded what appears to be an out-and-out Christmas music for Massive Star’s shambolic, however ceaselessly sensible Third – a mission that remained unfinished when his cult power-pop outfit imploded in 1974. Chilton delivers the hymnal lyric (“Royal David’s Metropolis was bathed within the gentle of affection”) and the music’s stirring refrain with obvious sincerity, however as different Third highlights reminiscent of ‘Thank You Pals’ are soaked in sarcasm, it’s seemingly ‘Jesus Christ’ could have been anti-Christmas in design. It’s a doozy, regardless, and the paradox solely provides to the music’s enduring enchantment.
11: blink-182: ‘I Received’t Be Residence For Christmas’
A stalwart anti-Christmas anthem, blink-182’s ‘I Received’t Be Residence For Christmas’ makes completely no bones about its Scrooge-like stance, with the Californian pop-punk legends sneering via strains reminiscent of “It’s time to be good to the individuals you’ll be able to’t stand all yr/I’m rising uninterested in all this Christmas cheer” earlier than breaking out the baseball bats. Curiously, the music was notably properly obtained in Canada, the place it remained at No.1 for 5 consecutive weeks in 2001.
10: Loretta Lynn: ‘Christmas With out Daddy’
Launched by Decca in 1966, Loretta Lynn’s Nation Christmas album stylishly blended authentic songs with covers of festive staples reminiscent of ‘Frosty The Snowman’ and the ever present ‘White Christmas’. Surprisingly, regardless of widespread essential reward (with Billboard sarcastically declaring it “nice programming materials for nation music stations which is able to create excessive gross sales”), Nation Christmas didn’t chart, but it surely’s nonetheless a implausible document, and its blue’n’lonesome ‘Christmas With out Daddy’ is an unrelenting tear-jerker.
9: Fall Out Boy: ‘Xmas Shoot Your Eye Out’
A heartfelt semi-acoustic rebuke to an untrue ex-lover, Fall Out Boy’s ‘Xmas Shoot Your Eye Out’ (“The presents you’re receiving from me shall be one awkward silence and two hopes you’ll cry your self to sleep”) clearly hates Christmas from the guts. The band initially donated it to Immortal Data’ 2003 compilation A Santa Trigger: It’s A Punk Rock Christmas, launched for AIDS charities, and it was later included as a bonus observe on Fall Out Boy’s self-explanatory Believers By no means Die: Biggest Hits assortment in 2009.
eight: EELS: ‘Christmas Is Going To The Canines’
A usually tasty slice of off-kilter alt-pop from Mark “E” Everett, the rousing however little-known ‘Christmas Is Going To The Canines’ was included on the soundtrack for Ron Howard’s suitably anti-festive How The Grinch Stole Christmas, in 2000, and later took its place amongst a sequence of equally thrilling offcuts on EELS’ sardonically-titled Ineffective Trinkets rarities assortment, launched in 2005.
7: Sparks: ‘Thank God It’s Not Christmas’
Sparks’ marvellous breakthrough album, Kimono My Home (1974), included their signature hit, ‘This City Ain’t Massive Sufficient For The Each Of Us’, but additionally phenomenal tracks such because the Albert Einstein tribute ‘Expertise Is An Asset’ and the fantastic, widescreen pop of ‘Thank God It’s Not Christmas’. That includes a usually wry Ron Mael lyric, the latter music is as dramatic and memorable as any anti-Christmas tirade you’ll hear. As vocalist Russell Mael mentioned in 2014, “When Yuletime approaches, we offer you our tribute to each day of the yr that doesn’t fall on the 25th of December.”
6: Greg Lake: ‘I Consider In Father Christmas’
Emerson Lake & Palmer mainstay Greg Lake launched his solo profession with 1975’s memorable ‘I Consider In Father Christmas’, which peaked at No.2 within the UK, behind Queen’s legendary ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’. A festive staple ever since, ‘I Consider In Father Christmas’ was rapidly categorised as a Christmas music, however Lake really supposed it as a protest song concerning the overt commercialisation of the festive season. Penned by Pete Sinfield, the music’s barbed lyric (“Hallelujah, Noel, be it heaven or hell/The Christmas we get, we deserve”) rapidly bears this out.
5: Nat “King” Cole: ‘The Little Boy That Santa Claus Forgot’
Nat “King” Cole recorded a swathe of festive perennials reminiscent of ‘Deck The Halls’, ‘Silent Night time’ and lots of extra, however he additionally recorded one among Christmas’ most heart-wrenching songs, ‘The Little Boy That Santa Claus Forgot’. Initially written in 1937 and likewise recorded by Vera Lynn, Cole’s definitive model of this achingly unhappy ballad (“He despatched a observe to Santa for some troopers and a drum/It broke his little coronary heart when he discovered Santa hadn’t come”) appeared on the flip of his 1956 hit, the notably extra mainstream-friendly ‘The Christmas Tune (Merry Christmas To You)’.
four: King Diamond: ‘No Presents For Christmas’
Metallic – be it black, thrash or some other sort – is maybe the style most suited to carving out memorably darkish anti-Christmas songs, so it’s excessive time we saluted King Diamond’s ‘No Presents This Christmas’. The trailblazing Danish outfit’s first single from 1985, this difficult’n’heavy blitzkrieg started with a parody of ‘Jingle Bells’ after which drove Panzer tanks throughout Christmas cheer. Rightly, it’s nonetheless thought to be one of many band’s signature songs.
three: Kate Nash: ‘I Hate You This Christmas’
The standout observe from the UK singer-songwriter’s 2013 EP, Have Religion With Kate Nash This Christmas, ‘I Hate You This Christmas’ initially appeared fairly perky till the refrain (“It’s Christmas as soon as once more, however you’re f__king one among my pals!”) kicked in – after which the music descended into hell-hath-no-fury territory in no unsure phrases. As Nash instructed NME on the time of the EP’s launch, “‘I Hate You This Christmas’ is a few break-up ruining your vacation, actually, somebody dishonest on you and going residence and being embarrassed to inform your dad and mom. Being broken-hearted at Christmas sucks!”
2: Miles Davis: ‘Blue Xmas (To Whom It Could Concern)’
Caustic, cynical and nonetheless effortlessly cool, ‘Blue Xmas (To Whom it Could Concern)’ was the brainchild of the long-lasting Miles Davis and jazz vocalist Bob Dorough, who embraced the season’s draw back on this 1962 minimize constructed on swinging rhythms and moody horns. Initially launched on a compilation titled Jingle Bell Jazz (which additionally featured Duke Ellington and Dave Brubeck), the observe included a scything critique of festive commercialism (“all of the waste, all of the sham”) and a verse regarding homelessness, which – tragically – stays all too related at the moment.
1: Spinal Faucet: ‘Christmas With The Satan’
They are saying the Devil has all the best tunes, and that’s onerous to disclaim as we attain the highest spot of our 20 finest anti-Christmas songs with a quantity singing the praises of Beelzebub himself. We’re, in fact, right here to genuflect on the altar of faux-metal heroes Spinal Faucet, who (actually) went to hell and again in developing this monstrously good ode to a Satanic Christmas (“The elves are wearing leather-based and the angels are in chains/The sugar plums are rancid and the stockings are in flames”) and famously debuted it on Saturday Night time Dwell in 1984. It’s up towards some stiff competitors right here, however in the end, in relation to anti-festive anthems, ‘Christmas With The Satan’ is the one one which goes all the best way as much as 11.
Searching for extra? Discover the best Christmas songs of all time.